Lots of silver on the planet
by Feathery Pear
Summary: Kakashi isn't sure whether he should be worried and Gin-chan doesn't do dirty work.
1. chapter 1

I hold no claim.  
Also, things to know. The title is from a Tom Rosenthal song (as luck would have it), Gintama is being forcefully mushed into the world of Naruto and I am not the best writer. Thank you.

* * *

Sakata Gintoki is an intriguing character, with perpetually half-lidded eyes, impossibly curly hair and a strange obsession with manga and strawberry milk.

Much like Kakashi himself, to be honest, and just like Kakashi, there are shadows behind the window panes of his rust-red eyes, a silent growl in his throat and a deep penetrating sorrow in the chambers of his heart.

Not that Kakashi can see it as he certainly hasn't split anyone open today. No, no kunai wounds or chidori-ing of any persons whatsoever because Kakashi is here on a diplomatic mission to employ the Yorozuya for Konoha.

The Yorozuya is an independent organisation working primarily from the district of Kabukicho, in the region of Edo somewhere within the snowy, samurai-filled depths of Snow Country. It accepts various requests ranging from "please find my cat" to "please replace my absent workers" to "please help us take care of the gangs making trouble down at the docks" to "please help us foil an attempt at assassinating the military leader of Edo".

The Yorozuya has also been credited with having several informative contacts and being in possession of critical pieces of evidence that would aid in the location of Takasugi Shinsuke, up-and-coming yakuza lord also doubling as pirate captain and this is why Kakashi is sitting on a faded blue sofa that smells of milk and seaweed propositioning a man who has only just woken up.

At least he's somewhat fun to talk to.


	2. chapter 2

_Konoha,_ thinks Gintoki, _Konoha a village of ninjas._

"Nah, we're fine". His voice is as high as the contents of his wallet.

Konoha's ambassador, with his bad taste in masks and great taste in hair, nods sagely, as if he's been presented with a treasure chest of pachinko prizes and thusly approves.

"But wouldn't you like to reconsider that decision Sakata-kun?"  
Gintoki scowls.

"Bloody scarecrow. Stop sticking your pole into the fields of innocent farmers". In response, the jerk smiles.

" _Sakata-kun_ " he croons, "I'd rather enjoy being the scarecrow in the middle of _your_ silver rice fields". His only visible eye (the creep) crinkles up to form a disgustingly emotive curve. Gintoki makes a face.

"Gin-chan doesn't do yucky work like that. Go ask the gorilla woman".

* * *

He rolls his body around so that his back faces Kakashi, making a silent statement along the lines of "I hate you so go away" and _coincidentally_ bringing his arms closer to the stick - strangely enough - jammed up into the ceiling.

Kakashi prepares himself for battle, because even a stick can be a deadly weapon in experienced hands and this man, this Sakata Gintoki, is a definite wild card. He could be the 52nd most dangerous man on the planet (because ninjutsu abilities must be considered and this guy has no chakra) and no one would even know it. Also, because it is a very bokuto-handle sort of stick and not even ANBU Hound is any good at channelling electricity through wooden swords.

Of course, this is when the roof caves in due to the efforts of the small, bright-eyed girl who comes hurtling feet first through the wall to violently throttle Sakata-kun. Kakashi is suddenly reminded of Sakura as the screaming begins.

"What are you doing you dirty little boy! What did Kaa-san teach you? Did you ever listen when I told you not to play around with strange men! They might be lying to you while they try and steal away your money and use it to buy sukonbu!"

Kakashi observes as they topple the sofa over.

"What the hell brat? _That's you!_ ". The table is flipped upside down.

"Don't talk back to your mother you _ungrateful child!_ ". The striped glasses in the corner are accidentally tossed out the window.

This is when the quarrelling duo realise that they've most likely killed the young man in an apron and cleaning gear by way of defenestration, and that Kakashi is watching them, being quietly amused on his blue seat.


	3. chapter 3

The "glasses stand" is called Shinpachi and judging by the callouses on his hands, he is learning the sword. He is obviously the main victim between the three of them, and if Kakashi wasn't a firm believer in the concept of tough love (which he is, kind of) he'd be very worried about the boy's mental health.

Of course, it seems that Sakata-kun is an expert at tough love (unlike Kakashi, because his human minions are always going loopy - look at Itachi-chan!) because not only is his tiny female charge both bigger and stronger than life itself, Shinpachi's stance is confident and his eyes glint with a determination to be both strong and compassionate. It's the kind of determination typically found only in Naruto when he marches towards Ichiraku's.

Shinpachi is also _scared_.

"Gin-san, he's a shinobi!", the boy shouts in agitation that Kakashi is familiar with causing. His weapon is a bristly broom. What's with these people and _wood_? How's Kakashi meant to shock them into paralysis?

Sakata-kun scoffs in such derision that Kakashi wonders how much practise he puts into it.

"Don't be stupid Pattsuan. He's obviously an old pervert who came here for Gin-chan".

With that, the man flicks his nose slime in the general direction of the small, red-headed battering ram and only just manages to dodge the TV remote aimed directly at his nether regions. He probably shouldn't provoke her right after an intense battle. Adrenaline's still pumping, so it's quite risky.

"Gin-san, don't pretend-"  
"Of course Gin-chan wouldn't pretend to be Doctor and Nurse with him for money, Pattsuan. How lowly do you think of me?", he turns to Kakashi. "You gross, disgusting old man. You're better off asking an idealist terrorist".

Personally, Kakashi thinks that Sakata-kun is the _real_ pervert here, because he's the one who keeps bringing it up. Sadly, these people are too headstrong to handle with the effort levels he's on at the moment, so he allows them to push him towards the door. They aren't very good at it, because on the way, he bumps into the sofa, the side of the doorway, the wall and also he trips over some shoes.

"Yeah!" adds the blunt force monster, "unlike us, he'd actually fall for your crap". A mutter. "Might even wear a long black wig to get into it more".

With a slam, the door is shut in his face and all he can hear is a lecture on how to speak about people. Namely, not badmouthing them.

Shinpachi-kun has a very strong sense of social niceties, he notes.

Kakashi does not.  
Kakashi is going to store their scents away so he can track them if he ever needs to.  
Sakura probably wouldn't approve, but then again, she's completely free to do whatever she thinks is best when it's her turn to experience Edo.

(He just hopes she never meets the Yorozuya's resident girl).


End file.
